Melanie's Yaoi Obsession
by Epic-Pachirisu15
Summary: "Uh, Mel? What on earth are you drawing?" She giggled. "I'm drawing yaoi. I loooooove it!" Yep. Melanie's crazy. Melanie/Sam, no couple-y stuff.


**Nyahahahaha! I figured taking a break from couple-y stuff and write a Sam-Melanie story. They're both awesome, after all.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, and there's a reference to the anime Durarara!, so I don't own that either. Oh, I don't own Junjou Romantica, too.**

_**Melanie's Yaoi Obsession**_

_**XxXxXxX**_

**Sam POV**

Summer! Finally, no more school, no more annoying teachers, no more stupid students, no more learning. There's just one tenny tiny problem.

Melanie's coming back.

Yippee doo.

So, for two whole months, I'll have to deal with her girly-ness. I can see why she and Carly get along really well.

I was waiting at the airport for Melanie. My phone rang, and I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Sam! Uh, I think I messed up on the time when we'll meet at the airport. I just got home, and when I asked Mom where you were, she said you were waiting for me there. Just uh, get home already, 'kay?" Melanie said on the other line.

"So you made me waste 30 minutes of my life for nothing?" I asked.

"Uh, sorta, yeah," Melanie said, chuckling nervously. "But hey, I'm your sister, you won't hurt me right?"

I sighed. "Guess not. Fine, I'll go home. I'll just buy some bacon." I said.

Melanie giggled. "Alright alright. See you later." Then she hung up.

**XxXxXxX**

I pushed the door of my house open, shouting, "I'm home!" at the top of my lungs.

I looked at Mom, who was passed out in the living room, wine bottle in hand. I sighed. She got drunk. Again. Surprise surprise.

I went in Melanie's room and...woah.

No seriously. Oh my ham.

Her room was covered with posters that show cartoon guys kissing.

There was nothing like that the last time I went in here.

"Uh, Mel? What's all this?" I looked over her shoulder, as she was sitting in her desk, drawing something. I blinked at the unfinished drawing. "And what on earth are you drawing?"

She giggled before facing me. "I'm drawing yaoi, and I put the posters up while you were gone."

I was confused. "What on earth is yaoi?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed, smiling. "Of course, only otakus know what yaoi is. It's boy-to-boy love in manga and anime. And I loooove it!"

I blinked. Then I made a face. "Um. Ew."

"No, not ew!" She protested. "Yaoi is adorable!"

"To you, maybe," I said nonchalantly. "But to me, it makes me imagine Spencer and Freddie kissing."

"So it makes you imagine that your boyfriend is cheating on you with Carly's brother?"

"Fredweird is not my boyfriend."

"Riiiiight."

"Fine, I'll make another example. You know Lewbert right?"

"The doorman with the disgusting wart? Yeah." Melanie shivered, and I fake-gagged.

"Well, Imagine him and Spencer kissing."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ew."

"Exactly."

She sighed irritably. "Look, maybe real boy-to-boy love is disgusting, but anime and manga boy-to-boy love is absolutely adorable!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You've said it a million times already." I looked at her drawing, which shows two guys kissing. "Gross."

"Stop saying things like that," She said, giving me a light punch on the arm. "It's cute."

I sighed. "Whatever you say, Mel. I'm going to my room. You just go fangirl about yobi or whatever that's called."

"It's called yaoi!"

"Whatever."

I exited her room and entered mine. It's official.

My sister is a nuthead.

At that moment, I heard a scream that probably made me deaf if I didn't cover my ears on time.

I walked back in Melanie's room. Now she's lying in her bed, using her laptop.

"Melanie. Do you want Seattle to go deaf?" I asked, annoyed. "What are you screaming about?"

"Shizayaaaaaa~!"

"Uh, what?"

"Shizaya is soooo cute..!"

"Why was I not born an only child?"

That's when Melanie faced me. Uh, finally. "Hey! Why would you say that?"

"Um, because you're screaming some weird word over and over like a weirdo." I said rather bluntly.

"That's so mean! Shizaya is soooo cute~!"

"What is this Shizaya anyway?"

"The cutest couple ever in _Durarara!_" Melanie squealed again. It's starting to make my ears ring.

"I don't even want to ask what _Durarara!_ is. Weird name, by the way." I said, before turning around to exit the room again. "Now Mel, please. If you're going to do this, do it quietly."

_What did that school do to Melanie? She's even weirder and girlier than before._

I need ham.

I walked to the kitchen and got a whole ham, which is probably Mom's. Oh well, she's drunk right now anyway, might as well eat it.

As I was eating in my room, Melanie barged in, holding some Japanese comics, and wearing the biggest grin ever.

"Hi~, Sammy!" She greeted in a sickly sweet voice, plopping down on my bed. "Watcha doin'?"

"Eating ham, thinking of various ways to kick you out of my room," I said. And I was telling the truth. "What do you want?"

"Weeeeell, answer one question. Do you like Yaaaoiiii~?" She said, giggling.

"No."

"You're so blunt~!"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Teehee!" She giggled. AGAIN. WHY WON'T IT STOP. "I loooove yaoi!"

"Why are you being a nuthead?"

"Weeeell, I'm happy because of yaoi!"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM."

I pushed her out of the room. She was still giggling and hugging her Japanese comics.

She's crazy. She's a lunatic. It's like her boarding school classmates brainwashed her into making her love this boy-to-boy thing. Maybe they hate me, and they want to torture me by making Melanie like this. She was fine awhile ago! Then she went all crazy mode. Like a switch. Oh why.

I can still hear Melanie's annoying giggling from her room. Well, atleast she's not screaming again.

Soon I finished my ham, and I exited my room to put it in the sink.

Big mistake.

As it turns out, Melanie was waiting by my door. She tackled me then shoved a Japanese comic, shouting "Read this yaoi comic! It's so cuuute!"

"Melanie!" I shouted, pushing her away. I looked at the Japanese comic. It's was a copy of _Junjou Romantica,_ whatever that is.

I threw the comic at her. She caught it, pouting. "Fine. I'll worship yaoi all by myself! And I'm not sharing any of my manga with you!"

"Good deal. Now, go back to your room and fangirl there." She happily complied, pulling herself together and skipping back to her room.

Yeah, it's official.

My sister is the craziest fangirl on earth.

**Boom! 1000 words, oh yeah! So, you like? Quite random, I know. Sorry. It's not that good, is it?**

**Well, review. :3**


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